Life Lessons learnt from a Yearling

Today’s post is a story about a very sensitive horse that I recently met on my path. A story that illustrates so nicely how animals and humans can support each other when facing challenges, and how much we can learn from interacting together. This horse for sure touched me deeply and made me grow in ways I didn’t expect... I think it’s a beautiful story and wanted to share it with you. May it inspire you on your own journey. Horses are definitely master teachers.

Meeting Yma

A couple of weeks ago, I was staying with my whole tribe (our 16 dogs, Milwyn the Witch cat and the two mares, Ola and Stella) at a wonderful horse farm – I’d prefer to call it a “horse garden”! - own by a friend. They breed horses for private owners and have different herds with the broodmares in foal with or without foals, the older mares and fillies, and the colts. Whenever I’m staying there, I give a helping hand with the horses and stable work, etc – just because I love it! At this time of the year, they take all the horses to the different summer pastures. As one of the largest pastures is too far away to walk, the horses are brought by trailer. This year, it was the mares and fillies’ turn to go to that large field. And so, the horses were loaded and taken in turn to their “summer camp”. The yearlings usually follow the older mares in the trailer without problem, making the loading experience very smooth and easy for them. It went extremely well for all 17 horses.

Except for one.  Yma *

Very reticent to approach the trailer, she simply refused to move a single foot on the ramp. She didn’t care at all that her friend mare was already loaded and calling her. She got more and more nervous, and things were not going in the good direction: Yma was starting to get defensive, rising and kicking her front feet in the air

As I saw that and knowing that the team had quite a busy schedule that day, I offered to take over with the young lady and see what I could do.  

That’s how I started working with this absolutely stunning tall, bay yearling. I quickly realised that things wouldn’t go as fast as humans would have loved to. Extremely sensitive, she was not trusting people enough to follow them, not to mention being handled with the halter and rope.

I learnt later that things were absolutely fine with her. Born and raised on the farm, she had been everywhere around it with her mom. Until the foals’ presentation show annually held at the farm. Since then, she has become very wary, harder to handle and not willing to enter the main stables any longer.

So, after assessing the situation with her, I decided to go back to basics and start from scratch: (re)build the trust and have her follow me everywhere and easily. Without this, there’s no way I would have her load in such a scary monster! Yma being so young, I also decided to keep the sessions short as she would get brain tired quickly. I also told myself: no agenda, no deadline, no pressure! just do it for her and for the pleasure of working with this lovely horse.

And so we began.

Building the Trust

On the first session, we stayed in her field – she was sharing a temporary field with an older mare until taken to the summer pasture. Very easy to catch, she would however not move a single foot at first sic! Yma loves scratches and cuddles, and with some patience and a lot of scratching rewards, I got her to follow me around her field.

I discovered a super sweet horse, very sensitive and kind, very smart too, and definitely not willing to go through any kind of negative experience again.

The next day, I was able to take her out of her fence alone (without her bestie) and walk all the way down the main alley. It took me an hour, with many pulling back and fearful reactions.

Every day we made small but clear progress. After a while, she would meet me at the gate, follow me easily out of her field and down the alley, all the way to the trailer. We spent some sessions getting her used to the trailer. One morning, she put one hoof on the ramp. The next, she put two. Slowly, step by step, she was getting there. There was less backing off and no more uprising. I was amazed of how unbothered she could be with doors banging or slamming, strong wind gusts or my pack of dogs suddenly howling. However, walking on the ramp and any closed or narrow places were freaking her out.

I had been working with her for nearly one week when she agreed to walk into the main building easily. And walked a bit further on the ramp. She was also now using the shed in the field – she never used it before. I thought that things would pick up from there.

But no. We plateaued for the next two sessions. She would be dozing off minutes after we started the session and not be very reactive. Tired.

I had to let her rest a bit. No agenda, no pressure. Go at her pace, not faster than what she can handle. Don’t force it.

And the next session, she went up all the way up the ramp.

And we plateaued again.

When the Ego gets in the Way

That’s when my mind (ego, or social pressure, or whatever we want to call it) kicked in. It had been more than a week. We were planning to leave the horse farm in a few days. Yma was to go to the pasture sooner or later. And it was too dangerous to walk her all the way there. So, it had to work.

It had to work.

Pressure. Human agenda. My own Overthinking Mind

I knew that my method was working. But maybe it was too slow? Maybe there was a better way to do this? A better, faster, more efficient way?

“Try with her friend” (the older mare she was sharing the field with). Yes, why not I thought. It could help. Even though we had done all the exercises just the two of us, maybe another horse could help overcome the plateau.

Well no. Not at all. It got Yma more nervous. I had added a parameter in the equation, just when she was trying to process everything she had learnt so far. We were back to the previous plateau, and I felt her confused. I gave us some time off. Not too happy with myself… 

But the doubt had crept in. I started to look up online for some help, interesting methods or tricks. One method seemed to be known as “the best, most efficient, horse friendly method”, a bit too pushy to my taste, but it seemed to work really well. A proven method by experts who had worked with thousands of horses. I wanted to give it a go.

The next session, I went to pick up Yma, determined to have her walk all the way inside the trailer, confident in my new-found method.

It turned out a total mess. She didn’t understand what was suddenly happening. I felt so off doing that technique… She was so freaked out, that she didn’t want to come to the trailer anymore. I started to feel upset about her… Realising that, horrified at my stupidity, I stopped it all.  I felt soooo bad, so stupid, awful. I was damaging all these hours of calm and patient work, the trusting relationship, just to get faster results!! I calmed myself down. Calmed Yma and brought her mind down again.

Follow the Energy

For a long while, we stayed the two of us I the middle of the yard, doing nothing. The right inspiration would come. All I wanted was to turn things around and have her have a nice experience again, just as we had so far, even if things were progressing slowly.

Then I felt this impulse to show her the way, very slowly moving to the trailer and waiting for her to catch me up. I had to be a Mamma Horse. After a short hesitation, she followed me. Step by step. Before long, we were together inside the trailer! I was crying out of joy, so proud of that little one! She was munching at the hay, and looked fairly calm.

But then, she got scared by a horse fly and the buckle of the rope hit the metallic bar. She bounced back and backed off overhastily. Oh my… I felt stupid again. I should have back her off earlier…

But then I realised that she hadn’t run away. She came to me and went up the ramp once again. Not all the way in, but she wasn’t in a panic. Not everything was lost. She had done great! She had done it once. We were in. She would go again. She simply needed more time and practice. Time for a rest.

We postponed our departure to the following day so I could work with her again once. I felt like I had to be the one taking her to the field. We did another session in the morning, with no insect around. She did great, following me easily up the ramp and putting her feet quite far inside. But she didn’t stay long and backed off as soon as she reached the place where she got scared the previous day. We went up a few more times together, and she was going farther and farther inside the trailer, before walking back.

I really felt that she was overwriting the scary event with the horse fly and buckle noise. I also felt that she clearly needed more time.

Yma, a Master Teacher

I had to admit it: I was not going to be the one taking her to the pasture. My friend, who had been there on some sessions, said he will be fine now, will take over the trailer practice with Yma and give her the time she needed. I knew he would, he’s an experienced horseman. But I had to accept it, without considering it a failure:

I had brought Yma as far as I could, as far as she could right now. I had to respect her and give her the time she needed. She’s only one year old! It was maybe a matter of a few days or a week before she walked in calmly.

Considering it a failure would mean that my personal agenda or goal was more important than all the work and beautiful relationship I built with this horse during these 2 weeks. Yma isn’t scared of being handled with the halter and rope anymore, follows nicely when led by people, walks confidently in the main stables, sleeps in her shelter and walks all the way up the ramp and in the trailer. Isn’t that already wonderful? She wouldn’t have been ready for us to close the door and lock her in so soon. It would have been a nightmare for her, and I think after all that we have been protected. If I had pushed it, she might have gotten hurt during the transport. No doubt she will walk and stay calmly inside it within no time. So, couldn’t I just be ok with that?

Yes, I could. My mission was maybe “just that”: help Yma regain the trust she had lost in people and in herself.

In return, she had highlighted some very important lessons for me:

• Not to let my Mind and Ego get in the way when my Heart clearly says otherwise.
• To stay fully in the present moment when working with animals
• Forget any personal Agenda and respect the animal’s progression pace
• Trust the process. Have confidence in your actions when they feel right. Don’t rush it but don’t give up.
• Follow the energy. Don’t push it. If the energy stops, stop and stay still until the next step to take becomes clear again.

If you look at the above from a broader perspective, and apply these five lessons to any challenges, goals or situations you’re facing, aren’t they major keys to navigate our lives in the best way possible?

Thank you, adorable Yma, for having been on my path. I am so grateful to have met you and have such profound love for you.  I wish you the most wonderful life and a brilliant career!

To you, dear reader, I hope this story will inspire you in your own life. Be kind to yourself, love yourself, and remember that sometimes, you are like young Yma: you need more time to process things and move forward with confidence.

Take care xx,

The Outdoor Witch

*Yma isn’t her real name – I respect her privacy  😉

PS: I regularly get news of the young mare. She’s making progress but hasn’t been taken to the pasture yet. I keep you posted!